why didn't you poke me back
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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