don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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