I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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