I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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