so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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