She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize