Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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