Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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