and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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