everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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