Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
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you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
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Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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