thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Randomize