did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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