Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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