Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
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found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
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Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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