So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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