I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize