Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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