My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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