Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
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No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
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ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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