Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
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Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
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And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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