I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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