I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm going to jail i love you
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize