I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
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He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
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New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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