No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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