It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize