Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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