Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
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She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
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When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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