i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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