what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just pee around me
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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