he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize