Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he thought i was a dude.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
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If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
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My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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