so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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