i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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