if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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