im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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