what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize