Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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