What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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