I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
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Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
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All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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