I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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