this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize