if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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