Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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