So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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