you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize