i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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