Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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