i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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