i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize