either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize