elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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